by Eddie Capra 

Things my dad taught me:

Don’t worry the battery cover of the remote control

Don’t leave tapes inserted in a tape deck

Don’t flop down on the couch

Don’t slam the car door

Put on some socks

Life isn’t fair

Jobs make you angry

Acura makes a fine automobile

To say goddammitjesuschristfuckingshit

 

Things my dad didn’t teach me:

The first thing about women

The thrill of competition

Wake and bake



Things pop culture taught me:

Fucking

Sucking

Secular humanism