Get A Life!

MR. TANNY-O: My apologies, sir.  I had no idea.  You give off such a stunning aura, I assumed I was talking to a man just down from the mountaintop.  But now that I have pierced this façade of yours, I see all too clearly that you could greatly benefit from this deal.

YURI: Yes!  Yes!  I agree!

MR. TANNY-O: Here, then, sir.  Take it all.  In return, all I ask is twenty-five dollars. [removes hat, bows and holds hat out to receive payment]

YURI [pulls some cash from his wallet and tosses it in the hat]: Okay! [then he gathers all the items in the booth up in his arms]

[Suddenly BYRON enters from off-stage.  He wears a hospital gown and staggers about]

BYRON: Brother!  Brother!

MR. TANNY-O: Byron?!  My sweet, departed brother pays me one last spectral visit before passing on to the world of shadows!  The ultimate adventure!

BYRON: No, brother!  No specter here.  Our family’s devotion to bestial religious beliefs has beaten back the reaper’s scythe!  As young Suzie lay a viper’s head to my breast, the serpentine savior did strike.  The foul venom worked through my veins, burning off the coma, launching me back to consciousness!

MR. TANNY-O: Oh, happy day!

YURI: Wait a second.  If he’s okay, what good does all this do me? [holds up the photographs, journals, etc]

BYRON: What is all that?  Those are my things!  Grave robber!

YURI [re: MR. TANNY-O]: He sold them to me!

BYRON: Brother, what is this treachery?

MR. TANNY-O: My faith was lacking, brother.  I believed you lost.  I tried only to preserve your legacy.

YURI: Forget this.  I want my money back.

MR. TANNY-O: I’d like to oblige, but I really need the cab-fare.

YURI: Well, I’m keeping this stuff then.

BYRON: Never!  That belongs to me!

YURI: Not anymore!

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