Incredibly Miserably

    Maybe a hundred feet out near the dock, a young boy is desperately flapping his arms around, splashing water into his mouth and eyes.  He is screaming for ayuda.  Victoria is swimming quickly towards him.

    Then, abruptly, recognizing and exploiting the pathetic man’s weakness to covet the impossible woman, some opportunistic peddlers rudely interrupt the scene.


    The McRib sandwich is back for a limited time only at participating restaurants.  Indulge your appetite with this saucy, scrumptious boneless barbeque pork sandwich.  Oh baby.  Just what you’ve been waiting for, with fries and a drink for just $3.59.  Get it now before it’s gone.  I’m lovin’ it.    


    Don’t let erectile dysfunction slow you down when a playful moment turns into the right moment.  Remember that swagger of your twenties?  Be ready and confident when she gives that look meant only for you.  Because she’s the only reason you need.  Seek medical attention if your erection lasts more than four hours.

    And so forth.

    Phil had heard their bullshit propaganda too much to be interested.  They practically beat you over the head with their constant advertisements and catch-phrase slogans and they always bother people at the worst time.

    Meanwhile, Victoria had nearly reached the boy in need.  He had just lost the remainder of his strength and, as he’s overcome by the encompassing water, his eyes slowly close as he sinks beneath the surface.

    Victoria follows the boy under and remains there for five long, uncertain seconds.  She reemerges, looks around her, inhales deeply, and goes back under the water.

    After an excruciatingly long moment, Victoria’s blond, beautiful, matted hair springs up alongside the dark, spiky hair of the unconscious child.  She takes the buoyancy device, which she had left floating on the surface, and straps it onto the young boy’s back, then paddles back to shore.

___________ right