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A More Sensitive Census
 

Government Agents #1 and #2 nod and then stride purposely to Fred’s house, open the door, enter, and close the door behind them.  After a moment, there is a blood-curdling scream.  The Census Man holds out a medallion on a chain to the audience, swinging it back and forth.  He strikes a menacing hypnotist pose.

THE CENSUS MAN:  You will forget everything that you have just seen.

Suddenly an Investigative Reporter bursts onto the scene from offstage.  She’s a plucky young woman brandishing a camera phone.  She speaks in the style of a newspaper reporter from a 1930s film.

INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER:  Sorry, mack, but I recorded it all on my camera phone and I’ll be damned if you can make a machine forget.  Now I’ll just e-mail this to my editor…

THE CENSUS MAN:  Miss, give me that camera phone.

INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER:  Never!  You will never silence us!  That poor man.

THE CENSUS MAN:  He was a subversive!

INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER:  Your mother was a whore!

THE CENSUS MAN:  Give me that!

The Census Man swipes at the camera phone and snatches it from Investigative Reporter’s grasp.

INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER:  No!

THE CENSUS MAN:  Ha, ha!

INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER:  Give it back!

Investigative Reporter tries to grab the camera phone back, but The Census Man raises it high above his head, just out of Investigative Reporter’s reach.  She leaps at the phone again and again.  Unsuccessful, she drops to one knee.



 
 
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