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A More Sensitive Census
 

THE CENSUS MAN:  You are, in fact, Frederick Francis Druthers?  And this is, in fact, 1646 Sanborn Avenue?

FRED DRUTHERS:  Yes.  Yes.

THE CENSUS MAN:  Single?  Caucasoid?

FRED DRUTHERS:  Yes and…

Fred stretches out his arm and investigates his pigmentation.

FRED DRUTHERS:  …yes.

THE CENSUS MAN:  Any other people at this residence?

Fred pauses, frowns, averts gaze.

FRED DRUTHERS:  No.

THE CENSUS MAN:  And what is your income?

Fred makes a face.

THE CENSUS MAN:  We, at the Census Bureau, appreciate that this can be a sensitive issue, so here, please just write it down.

The Census Man holds out the clipboard and pen for Fred.  Fred takes them and writes something down, then hands them back.  The Census Man looks down at the clipboard and makes an approving face.

THE CENSUS MAN:  Say, that’s not too shabby.

FRED DRUTHERS:  Oh, well, thanks.

THE CENSUS MAN:  And how are you doing?

FRED DRUTHERS:  I just told you.  I wrote it down.

THE CENSUS MAN:  No, Mr. Druthers.  Can I call you Fred?  Fred, how are you doing?

Fred is speechless.



 
 
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